Can You Continue a Dream?
by Girl With The Dandelion
Summary: I will never forget you. You taught me that.


"Do you believe you can continue a dream?"

I hear those words every night in _my _dreams. And every night my dreams continue where we left off.

"Shirou…I love you."

The dream takes us everywhere. I take her hand and we travel the world together. Just as it would have been if happily ever afters existed. How could they though? We live in a flawed world where happiness and love come second to loss and regret. Why didn't I say it back? "I love you too Saber." No, that's not right. "I love you too, Arturia."

I jolted awake. Ilya was sitting on my stomach. She tilted her head to the side. "Three years and you still dream of what could have been?" I pushed her off of me. "Three years and you're still here?" That made her pout. "Shirou…" I sighed. This was something Illyasviel was quite good at making me do.

"You know I'm just teasing you." She nodded.

"Three years is a long time Shirou-kun."

"Yes…it is."

Ilya yawned. "Make breakfast. We're all waiting. Taiga and Rin are plotting your death I'm afraid." I jumped from bed.

"What time is it!" She giggled.

"Nine in the morning." Oh God. I'm dead.

Breakfast went by mildly smoothly. Taiga of course mustered up as much difficulty as she could. Still though, she was nothing I couldn't handle. After breakfast was cleaned away, I excused myself to get ready for work. Tohsaka followed me.

"Don't you think it's time to start forgetting?"

Typical Tohsaka; straight to the point. Before I could respond, she continued. "I mean after all, you're the one who said you would forget her eventually. How do you expect to move on if you haven't even begun to forget her? These things take time you know. So you should start now."

I averted her glare. Where was this coming from? "You talk in your sleep Shirou," she said, apparently reading my mind. Still not looking at her, I finally say,

"No. I will not force myself to forget. As long as my mind is my own, and my sanity remains in tact I will cling to memories of her."

Tohsaka was silent for a moment. "Three years is a long time. She is never coming back. You know what she left this reality for when she returned to her own. Death. She died Shirou, her story reduced to nothing but legends and mythology."

I was angry now. Who was Tohsaka to tell me what I already knew? "I know she's dead Tohsaka! That's something I have to live with everyday! She is dead and there was nothing I could do to stop it."  
>Tohsaka just stared at me.<p>

"Shirou, for your own life's sake, stop the dreams. Move on."

I grabbed my water cup for work ad walked away saying, "You see that's the thing Tohsaka. I've never cared about my own life."

I decided to walk to work today. I needed to think. I knew there was some truth to Tohsaka's words. I couldn't keep starting my days hoping for sleep to take me back to my fantasies. It was too depressing. I had to change something. Anything. My life was a routine. Even when something came up, I started and ended my day exactly the same; wanting a future I could never have. I was so lost in thought I didn't even feel the bus screech to a stop. Saber saved me again. Thinking of her distracted me from the four tons of metal slamming into my body. "Sa..ber…"

Tohsaka POV  
>I had decided to not allow Emiya Shirou to have the last word. He would fix himself or I would. Either way, he was getting fixed! I watched in horror as Shirou began to walk in the road without even looking. I screamed his name, but he didn't hear me. He flew into the air and landed at a terrible angle. The bus driver ran out of the bus, but I was there first. I screamed at the driver to call for an ambulance. I held Shirou in my arms while he bled everywhere. "I can heal you Shirou, I can!" He winced. "I'm not her scabbard anymore Tohsaka. I'm not so easy to fix." No. I know I could do this. I know it.<p>

Shirou POV  
>I hurt everywhere, even places I didn't realize I had. I could feel Tohsaka patching me up the best she could, but I knew it wasn't enough. I closed my eyes. I needed to close them, because I hated seeing Tohsaka cry. "You always beat the odds Emiya Shirou, don't stop now!" Someone pulled Tohsaka off and loaded me onto a stretcher and into an ambulance. I felt someone take hold of my hand. I knew it was Tohsaka without having to look. But then, I felt my other hand warm up, as if someone held that one too. I tried to open my eyes.<br>"Saber?"

TPOV  
>I held onto Shirou's hand, thinking that if I did he would have to live. Life couldn't be this tragic; not when we had worked so hard to find everlasting peace! I blinked in a sudden light and I refused to believe what I saw. "Impossible."<p>

"How am I here? I should be dead," said the girl.

The blonde "king" looked near tears as she took in Shirou's appearance. Finally, her eyes met with Shirou's and her unspilt tears fell forward. My heart broke. The ambulance walls slowly melted away, and through my contact with Shirou, I traveled with the two. No longer surrounded by the machinery keeping Shirou alive, we were in a wooded area surrounded by water. I knew this had to be Avalon, or something of the sort. A place where those in Camelot can say goodbye to the people they love.

Barely able to move his arms, Shirou reached to touch Saber's cheek when his eyes closed.

"No!" Both Saber and I let out identical shrieks. She lunged forward, trying to wake him up. I looked away in defeat. He was gone, or going. What was this miracle for? Why had Saber returned if Shirou was going to die anyway?

"Do you believe you can continue a dream," whispered Saber. There was no one conscious enough that she could be talking to other than me. And I was angry.

"No. No I don't! Once you have dreamed a dream, it's gone. A dream is just another torture device; something that seems so beautiful, and yet so far out of everyone's grasp. A dream is cruel Saber."

She held Shirou's hand and gently caressed his cheek. His eyes began to open.

SPOV  
>I was vaguely aware of the two women talking. It wasn't until I heard Tohsaka describe what a dream meant to her that I decided to open my eyes again.<p>

"Every night I dream of Saber, and yet here she is, in my grasp." I tried to squeeze her hand, but I'm not so sure it worked. I could hardly move.

Saber shook her head. "Not like this Shirou. This is not how we were meant to be."

I laughed a little. "And yet, this is always how we are. You, me; one of us is always dying."

She looked up to the sun streaking through the trees, tears streaming down her face. "Why this miracle if I'm only meant to lose you?"  
>I had no answer to that; I did not understand it myself. Tohsaka did. "He needed you Saber. He needed you. Not me." I felt her begin to loosen her grip on my hand. No! I held hers firm. She smiled down at me. "No Shirou. It isn't me you need; it was always her."<p>

"Tohsaka…"

She smiled once again. "I will always remember you Emiya Shirou. I will not allow myself to forget. You taught me that. I will always remember you." And slowly, she pried my fingers off of hers. And she was gone.

"Shirou, I can't heal you. I don't know how to. I'm not Saber anymore. I'm just Arturia. I'm not anything."

I coughed and I felt blood dribble down my chin. She wiped it away. Her hand in mine, I felt myself slipping further away into darkness. She laid her head against my chest and wept. "I love you Shirou." I knew right then why this miracle was given to us. I needed to say the words back to her. I needed to say what I didn't say three years ago. "I love you Arturia. I love you. I love you. I love you." Her lips pressed against mine, I was finally able to sleep without seeing what life could have been. With her by my side, my life was only what it was. No more wondering. No more wishing. I was able to be with my Arturia one last time. With that last thought, I knew I would be able to die with a smile on my face.

TPOV  
>I was back in the ambulance, still holding Shirou's hand. Had any of it actually happened? As the LCD line began to flatten, I noticed Shirou's lips curve into a smile.<p>

**Author's Note: **My first try at a F/S/N ff. I've never watched the anime, only played the visual novel, so if there's inconsistency, thats most like why; that or my brain died while I was writing this. It happens. Let me know your thoughts though =)


End file.
